Writings & Research

Parentification is identitfied with children have to tend to or care for their parents a lot more than the parents are able to care for them. This means that these children were relied upon, age-inappropriately to take on roles and responsibilities that were not to be expected of children their age. They may have played the peace-keeper, the hero, or the scapegoat for all that was turbulent in their families, compromising their own sense of childhood. This is a common yet invisible occurrence in many families where there may be discord, parental death or divorce or other challenging circumstances such as poverty, unemployment, immigration and so on.

It can lead to a series of difficulties in childhood and adulthood. Most notably, a parentified person is someone who cares unendingly for others, feeling an emotional exhaustion within. They are burdened with their ability and intent to care for others, and are unable to receive this care for themselves. This leads to manipulative or even abusive relationships and can also be transferred to one’s own children.

It is, however, not at all the end of the road. Repair is possible with a compassionate, therapeutic approach that understands what you have been through, and makes visible your efforts that have felt unseen for so long. 

If you would like to talk about about this, or seek therapy for it, please contact us at [email protected]